2025 Trends That Fail Fashion's Basic Tests
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Trends can be seductive in the moment. One line I draw: does the design actually function?
When design works harder for attention than for purpose, something fundamental breaks. These 2025 trends exemplify that fracture: pieces that prioritize novelty over integrity, aesthetics over function, surface over structure.
Artificial Patina
Real boat shoes age through saltwater exposure, deck scuffs, and UV fade. That's the lived experience that lends them cachet. Miu Miu's $1,020 boat shoes feature painted sunbleach exactly where authentic stains develop. Not only is it wrong, it calls attention to its failure by literally highlighting the errors.
The issue isn't imitation aging itself; distressed denim has been refining this art for decades. The problem is execution without understanding. The pneumatic shape contradicts the beaten-down aesthetic they're mimicking. Moreover, dark soles on a boat shoe reveal ignorance of maritime function (light soles prevent deck marking). Dark-soled boat shoe styles are called camp shoes for inland wear.
For genuine patina, you can find many pairs of vintage Sperrys on Depop for under $30. New Sperrys are under $200. I love many Miu Miu shoes, but these are a self own: expensive theater without structural truth.
 $110 |
 $180 |
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Not Everything Can Slouch
Relaxed cuts have been very popular in 2025, which might motivate brands to add slouch to everything, even where slouch just cannot work.
Slouchy barrel jeans create a particular problem: they demand opposing qualities from the same garment. Barrel cuts require structure to maintain their distinctive shape—that elegant taper from hip to hem. Remove that structure for "slouch," and best case scenario, you lose the barrel. Worse? The silhouette collapses into deflated volumes: roomy thigh, slender shin, visual confusion.
Better alternatives maintain clarity of purpose: classic barrel jeans from Abercrombie, a dropped crotch at AYR hints at slouch but doesn't deflate the barrel, while Uniqlo offers genuinely slouchy styles that embrace relaxed construction throughout.
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 $275 |
 $50 |